Cheetos

Storytime.

Once upon a time a little boy by the name of Stan (names have been changed to protect the guilty) got in trouble at school. He felt badly about it. But Stan had a plan. Stan was a man with a plan.

Stan asked his naive parents if he could walk to school on Monday. His parents, who have been worried about his high blood sugar levels, thought that was a great idea. The exercise would burn off energy and hopefully he would have a better day at school.

The innocent parents woke Stan up early Monday morning, made him a delicious breakfast, helped him pack his diabetes kit and cell phone, and sent him off on his journey with these instructions, “Go straight to school. Please do not stop at 7-11.”

Stan smiled and promised he would not stop at 7-11.

Stan LIED.

Stan decided that he would win friends and influence by purchasing many bags of Cheetos and a 2-Liter bottle of Mountain Dew to share with the other kids at school.

Unfortunately, his plan was foiled by a teacher with x-ray vision who noticed his backpack stuffed with treats. The teacher took away his delightful gifts and Stan had to learn to earn friendship and influence through kindness and goodwill.

The end.

Or so he thought….

When Stan arrived home, his evil step-mother took away his precious Cheetos and his tyrant father told him he would have to clean his room before he could play any videogames! The horror! The inhumanity!

But tomorrow, they’ll probably let him try walking to school again… so long as he doesn’t bring any money with him. Because really–it’s great exercise, and his blood sugar was only 116 when he got home today, sooooo winner winner chicken dinner!! Yay!